Are we to rise up?

At this 10:30am, Gwen Wilkerson passed away. She is the mother of the head pastor of my church and married to David Wilkerson who also recently passed away in April of 2011. I can't imagine how hard this must be for our head Pastor Gary Wilkerson and his family. My deepest condolences go out to his family.

Her recent passing away reminded me of when another great man of God, Pastor Adam Taylor passed away as well back in May of this year. So many of our great leaders in this battle of the faith are passing away in these recent years.

It makes me wonder if it will soon be our time as the next generation to rise up to their position and take on the responsibility of saving the lost that we were made to take. All these leaders are known around the country and the world for their faith, but what are we known for? Many adults think of us teens as the generation that is simply technology driven, always wanting the newest and best thing, and is that what we want to be known for? 

Recently, my hometown of Colorado Springs just experienced one of the worst forest fires we have ever experienced. The city was covered in smoke, and everyone was terrified of having to evacuate and what would become of our beloved Rocky Mountains. However, through this several of my friends and I learned and rediscovered certain gifts that God was giving us. We started praying constantly about the fire. Several teenagers also posted on their facebook accounts of having nightmares for some and visions for others. My friend, Charity Segovia posted this one day:

"Last night I had a dream. The fire was raging and getting close to us, several were evacuating but my friends and I stayed behind to rebuke the fire. No matter what we did, it continued to burn. Then some men in a truck came to take us away (one of whom was an Atheist) and I stood and ordered the fire to leave. All went out but a single white flame - that of the Spirit - and many came to Christ. We then all danced before the Lord to praise Him. Papa, let this be prophetic."

Charity also posted that she received the gift of tongues a few nights later. I looked through my sketchbook later that day, and I don't even think there was a real reason I was. I, then, discovered a drawing I had done back in November. It was a drawing of a princess rising from the ashes that her palace had now become. Everything is broken  and shattered and is crumbling all around her. At the time I didn't know what to draw in the background so I drew our beloved Rocky Mountains. It was based off the scripture verse in Isaiah when it talks about beauty coming from ashes. Now nine months later, our beautiful mountains are burnt. But it is comforting because in the scripture it says beauty will come from ashes. So there will be beauty from these ash covered hills.

Later that night, I went to my youth group as did many students all over the city each going to their own churches. There was also a huge youth conference going on as well. I'm sure other churches around the country were also joining us in prayer. My church also had an adult prayer meeting going on at the same time as our youth prayer meeting that night. So on that Wednesday night there were thousands of Children of God seeking his face for our city and our home. We were truly blessed that night. Towards the end of the night we broke off in to smaller groups and started praying for one another, several of us were praying in tongues. The adults I was later informed were also praying in tongues and as soon as they did, they started to hear a little pounding on our roof. A gentle patter making a beautiful melody on our roof. The rain had begun. Most of the girls ran out to see the beautiful site. It was sprinkling, at our church. Some became discouraged at how low the intensity of the rain was, but I believe that what we saw was simply a sign of what God was and was going to do on our mountains. The next morning the fire was significantly more contained. The rest of the week the weather seemed more cooperative and cooler. This was most definitely a miracle done by God.

It was also amazing to see how all these young people had such great faith in their Lord. The adults seemed so worried, and yet we weren't. It was so cool! This whole things reminds of the verse that says: 

"And in the last days it shall be, God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams;" Acts 2:17

I am so excited to see how God is going to use this generation and how he is blessing so many with his gifts. I, with prophecy, Charity, with visions, and so many others. What do you all think?



**sorry about the weird highlighting issues, I can't seem to get if off this post.**

Guatemala Missions Trip

So as many of you know I went to the beautiful country of Guatemala these past two weeks. It was a phenomenal trip, I loved it! I mainly love just sharing the love of Jesus especially when I get to travel somewhere new. Now I could write a summary of my trip for ya here on this post, but honestly I think that would take that long, so here is a link to the Guatemala blog I made for my trip for this year! www.myguatemala2012.blogspot.com

Also I included my last journal entry from the trip on here as well.

Dia Dios - Day 10
Today we left exotic Guatemala. When I woke up this morning I discovered there were six of us in a 3 person room. Tiffany, Kayla, and Bailey all shared a bed, Tierney and I another, and Holly got the cot. Ugh, I love those girls so much. I'm gonna miss 'em so much! As I said before, nothing is going to be the same as it was here when we get back. I finally looked out our window for the first time a few minutes before we left the hotel. You can see the volcano in the background.

I am so sad to be going home. I don't know what it is about missions trips, but once I'm there I don't want to go back. I feel more alive while I'm gone, happier, filled with purpose. As bad as it sounds, I don't even miss my family while I'm on trips, sometimes my friends, but even then I still feel happy even without them. On this trip, I really learned that God wanted to become my all in all. I didn't realize how much he had blessed with friends and a social life until He pulled me out of it. Fellow team members throughout the trip told me the same thing almost word for word that God wanted to fill me up entirely. He wanted me to rely on him, for everything. Not just physical needs, but also emotional needs. He can be my best friend, my person to talk to when I feel completely alone and abandoned. He wants me to choose to ignore that and seek him. They said that there was a beauty that comes from that. I didn't realize how scared I was to be alone, but the thing is I'll never be alone. I thank him so much for the friends that I did make on this trip, especially Tierney, but I thank God for telling me that I need to let him fill my heart when I feel empty.

I am going to miss this place so much, and the feeling I had while I was here. While I was here, I wasn't afraid of anything. I took "risks" because I knew that God was holding me. I felt more adventurous, more daring, and more free. I went on huge water slides for the first time (without lifeguards) because even though I'm not a very strong swimmer I knew that God was with me and I wasn't going to drown because I hadn't even gone to the villages yet. I went on the river boat without a life vest because I knew that he was again not gonna let me drown. I rode in the back of trucks on the sides and stood up even while they were speeding down roads while holding on to the roof. Yes, there were times when I was scared of certain things like being attacked while walking to the dorm house by myself in the dark, or slipping on a rock in the river (George kindly came over and helped me across to join everyone else). I felt safer there, even though it is most definitely not safer there, I felt that way. I guess on missions trip, you are going in the name of the Lord and you feel safe. You feel fearless. He puts a boldness in your heart; and when I'm here in America, I don't feel that security anymore. Why is that? This is my home, and yet, I feel threatened. I feel fear.

While on this trip, my future was really challenged. Last November while I was at the Awaken Conference, I really felt God told me to become a young girl's counselor. I have gone through a lot, and so have my friends. I love to listen to people and hear their stories, and I love to help people in whatever way I can. And most of all, I love to pray. So I then started looking around, thinking what does God want me to do even though he just told me. I then looked at my youth pastor's wife's life. She's a photographer, graphic designer for our church, and she's married to the youth pastor so she gets to council high school girls and go on missions trips. That job would be perfect for me! That doesn't seem right though, but yet it looks so perfect. If that's not for me, what on earth am I going to be doing in the future? I need to decide on a degree to pursue, but what in? Definitely not Psychology, but if not that, then what? I then talked to Kayla about it. I told her all that, and she told me that I won't know what my future will hold. As I grow older I will look around to see what I'm supposed to do. But we are each a unique puzzle piece, and the way Beth was designed, her job is perfect for her and it may not be perfect for me. We may do similar things but there will be tiny, if not big things that make us different. She won't be able to fit in my place in the puzzle, and I won't be able to fit it in her spot in the puzzle.

Kayla Beene and I

I still don't know what I'm going to be ultimately doing in the future, but I do know that God holds my future. Last December, at a prayer meeting we were having for the villages in the Pinalito Mountains in Guatemala, God told me I was going to go to Guatemala this year, instead of Ireland. I didn't think that it was him and that I would still go to Ireland, but he then drew my heart to Guatemala. And after going, I know he was right. I was supposed to go. I don't regret going to Guatemala even though my friends are all preparing for Ireland. I will simply be glad in what God has planned for me to do, and know that this part of the puzzle is for my friends to fill this year. Who knows, I may be the one leading a prayer meeting for the Ireland team while they're gone. Also at the prayer meeting back in December, God continued to tell me that I was going to go to other countries during my high school years and return to Ireland when I graduate for an internship. Now these plans may change, I don't know exactly what's going to happen. But I'm going to follow this plan, for as long as he wants me to and then follow wherever he leads next. 

I'd like to thank everyone who supported me on this trip, it was amazing! I am so excited to see how God is going to use me in the years to come, especially on future missions trips! Thank you all so much again!

JRA Testimony

Short Testimony of a recent miracle in my life :)

          A few days after the last day of school, I went to my doctor and he diagnosed me with Juvenille Rheumatoid Arthritis (I don't think I spelled that right). Anyways, this was a shock to us but it made perfect sense with what had been happening at the time. 

          During this time, I had been preparing for my first missions trip to Cork, Ireland, and I believe this was a way the enemy was trying to keep me from going.

           So my doctor prescribed me with an excessive amount of Ibuprofen which eventually messed up my system, leaving me in nights of agony and sickness which happened at least once a week. Because of this, I began to refuse to eat and became Anemic, which means I was iron deficient. This added more medication to the list that I already had to take in order "to get better".

          My missions trip was drawing closer, and I was becoming nervous that I wouldn't be able to go. I continually asked youth leaders to pray for me, but nothing was working. The Tuesday before I was supposed to leave I became severely sick again, and this was four days before my trip. My dad finally said that if I became sick one more time, I wouldn't be allowed to go. I was terrified.

           Thankfully, I didn't get sick before we left. I brought various wraps and braces and medications with me just in case something decided to hinder me. The days quickly passed. On the third day of our trip, one girl on our team hurt her knee while doing a skit, and I loaned her my brace. She wore it for the rest of our trip.

I did get sick on one night of our trip and was then told to stay at the middle house for the day, but this was good. I ended up reading the book of Song of Songs, which honestly I had been avoiding, but God was talking to me that day through that book. I spent the whole day in his presence then joined the rest of my team at the youth rally in the evening. God blessed me with a day of rest in the middle of the week after my busyness of helping at a VBS the days before. God protected me.

          After that I was fine for the rest of my missions trip. However, the day after I returned from this trip I left for my family vacation. We drove for two long days to the Western Coast. The moment I walked into my grandparent's home I was hit with sickness. Most of the time I was there, I laid in the guest room nauseous or asleep. I now had to be a testimony to my grandpa who has several illnesses, I don't think I did a good job of it though.

But anyways after a week I was soon home. The weekends of sickness began again. I was so frustrated. I continued asking for prayer, but healing didn't come.

         Until one night, I went to my youth group's girls group night. We were simply talking about the new covenant, and I noticed that there were 12 girls in that conference room (12 disciples, maybe? random connection I noticed). Anyways, at the end I asked for prayer again along with all the other prayer requests, and we went around the circle and prayed. But during this my friend, Megan Malinaric said she had a vision of all the girls laying hands on me and praying. So they did. My goodness, Those. girls. can. pray. Then Megan made me claim healing. She told me to pray and I did. Then we decided to lay hands on other girls and pray for their requests as well.

        The next day I felt a little sick, but it wasn't at all like it was before. The weeks began to pass. I felt a little nauseous now and then but I was never sick, and I haven't been sick ever since. I still avoid certain things just because I'm still nervous, but I honestly believe I am healed from the medication attacks as I call them. I still may experience some side effects, but I will still believe I Am Healed no matter what happens. Certain events have left me knowing now how to trust blindly and I trust blindly that he healed me. 

        Now, I realize that God allowed me to be diagnosed with JRA so that I would bring my brace for that girl to wear. He allowed it so that I could connect better to another girl staying in my dorm every night when we'd sneak down to take our medication. He allowed it so that I now have more power in my prayers for healing for others, to share my testimony of healing to help other's continue to believe.

I don't know if I'll ever know all the reasons I had and suffered from this but I know that everything is for a purpose, and this had multiple purposes.

Merveille

It started with a flash, a flash of pain.

i ran to escape the pain. i ripped off everything that i thought could hurt me.

Slipping into the lightest burden of clothing, I searched for a place where the pain would cease. 

I turned and changed my mind so much.

The pain had consumed my mind along with the rest of me.

Words became unutterable. Wails of pain leaked from my lips.

I whispered for help but none had heard.

Pain consumed, I shouted once more, soon answered, soon worried about.

Confusion began to arise.

Pain and confusion took me 'til my entire being struggled to block it out, force it out of me.

Wails and  coughs, unquenching pain.

I rolled on the floor in pain, desperate, in complete misery.

I couldnt lay straight, the pain was too much.

I was forced to curl up in pain, gripping my hair for a grasp of something familiar.

A thin sheet of moisture covered my face uncomfortably.

I stared at my hands in misery.

My skin was hot, moist, red, trembling.

Words were exchanged above me.

Prayers by my mother banged in my ears.

All my sins swam in my head.

Could this be a punishment?

Had something dark and supernatural taken over my being?

Were demons ripping me to pieces inside, punishing me for my faith? Stopping me from my mission?

Pleas filled my mind.

The pain continued.

My hands had stopped trembling.

The moisture had slid off my face to my clothes.

I could move now, but still held by the pain.

My shrieks were useless.

The pain had decreased a tad, but it was still unbearable.

I laid down once more in even more pain.

I had given up.

Then I awoke.

I had curled again.

I was gripping for pain but there was none to be found.

I explored myself.

The pain was gone.

I smiled.

My best friend had intervened.

I whispered once again, "thank you, Jesus."

My Dream

The midnight sky stretches before me,
The stars sparkle like rare exotic gems,
The moon’s radiance expresses my joy,
Snowflakes fall about me,
Some melting in my hair,
Icicles cling to our poor cottage,
Tree limbs hang, heavy with snow,
A steady ice rink forms beneath my skates.
Excitement over takes me,
I skate and spin upon these frozen waves.
The wind races me now,
Soon overtaking me,
I collide with the snow-covered bank,

Inside savoring the bliss of warm chocolate,
Crackling flames,
Warm, satin blankets,
I dream.

I dream about a place without snow,
Without treacherous ice,
Without biting winds,
Without frozen waterfalls,
Without worry,
Without pain.
I dream of a place of freedom.
I dream of my paradise.
This is my dream.

Sunlight twinkles upon my eyelashes,
The breeze beckons me to fly on its wings,
A sweet veil of fuchsia petals shower me,
Shadows spread across the meadows,
Pearl clouds grace the crystal sky,
Butterflies flit about my feet,
Swallows sing above my head,
The sparkling stream babbles over shimmering stones,
The lush green carpet called grass lies beneath my feet,
Curly ivy tickles my toes,
Robust trees line my path,
I twirl in this enchanting wonder,
I dance amongst this glorious creation,
Could it be?
You created all this for me
To see?